Make Up Your Mind...

Its kind of sad that a song describes how I feel about something that is dear to my heart.

I'm ready to feel normal; lol just kidding.

I shouldn't have to worry...or question everything...I'm too good for my own damn heart...the question should be: is my heart well deserved?

Time will tell...I've been patiently waiting...

I've decided not to hold my breath anymore on empty words and promises.

There is only so much that one person can handle; especially if they are at a breaking point. I somehow have got myself into a wide variety of situations. But I'm winding it down to hopefully only a few. Probably not going to go that way. LOL...

This year has gone somewhat in the right direction. I just hope that it keeps going that way.

I haven't got to the point yet; of any feelings towards being unappreciated. But I'm sure that the little path will be popping up at some point. Hopefully I wont have to be walking down that path.

I ended up putting my barriers up again; and my goal is to put them back down. I've started slowly but I wish for them to be down in a faster pace.

"I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart; That I left unspoken"

Got the best phone call ever today. I'm excited that my boss called me and informed me of everything. Can't wait to be completely back to work. Ten months out of the Year I don't have to worry about clothes. Only on my days off or if I do something once I'm off from work; is when I have to figure out what I want to wear.

I always put other people ahead of me. I never really get to do anything thats super special for myself. I guess thats a goal for my list. Hopefully I will get to achieve it.

Oh my goodness, so Apple Juice is like a bottle of wine to me. I drink it like crazy. Its my absolute favorite Juice.

Until we meet again..

Short and Sweet...

So I got a haircut. Cut it pretty short. Still kind of getting used to it.

I'm ready to ride some roller-coasters.

Its raining. Absolutely Love It.

Made Crepes on Mardi Gras. It was fun. It had been a really long time since I made them.

Anyway, not sure what else to say.

So Guess I will Keep It Short.

Cabin Fever....

I've probably gone temporarily crazy. I have cabin fever really badly for some reason. I just want to get back to work. Its not that I haven't had the chance to get out of the house. Its more like I'm cabin fever of this area. I have so much energy; that I just want to runaway.

Last night I stood outside for at least an hour, in the freezing cold. I didn't want to be in the house, and I knew if I was to get in my car, I would leave and not come back. I don't really have a destination. I just want to runaway.

I realized this morning that there are guys that have better eye lashes than women. Everytime I see my friend Kevin, he is one of them that has perfect eyelashes. So I always want to ask his wife Cheryl if she's jealous of his eye lashes but I never do.

I'm in this Surprise Mode. Its weird. But they really don't come out as a surprise. Its more like, it wasn't hidden and its just there. Almost like a huge slap in the face. Its weird.

Yesterday I felt like I was in Kindergarten. I even made a quote about it. "Wow...I feel like I am in Kindergarten again. Relearning how to share. I must have failed it the first time. Possibly going to fail it the second time...maybe third times a charm...I highly doubt it. I believe this is the wrong type of sharing that they didn't teach...unless I missed that lesson."

So I got all excited this morning. I found a cd that I thought that I had lost. It turned out that it was in my glove box. And all that I had to do was clean it out. I was happy to find it because my friends from the City, who do the waxed hands and wooded roses made it and gave it to me at the end last season. They are awesome people.

I'm ready to pay my car off, then sell it. I want my jeep badly. I have waited and waited. I'm tired of waiting. Not too much more to go and my car will be completely paid off.

My phone is driving me crazy. It doesn't charge right anymore. Then It told me I had a voicemail, but my phone never rang. Then I listened to my voicemail, but it never showed that I had missed a call. And the front screen is broken and has yet to fix itself like it normally does. I'm surprised that I haven't ran it over yet.

I got a Valentine's gift on Sunday. It was a 3D Eiffel Tower Puzzle. Its pretty awesome. I guess my roomate didn't want me to feel left out. It was a sweet gesture. I don't really celebrate Valentines Day. For a certain personal reason. But my dad usually would give me a heart full of chocolate. My Grandpa always gave me some of the sweetest things, sometimes I miss that. I really don't like roses at all. If I recieve them I take them anyway, but I frown upon roses. I like them but would rather not recieve them. I would rather recieve lillies and sunflowers. I'm not a rose girl.

I love simple things. Sometimes I just miss that. I'm not into fairy tales. If you were to give me a 50 cent piece, I would take that as a simple gesture. I don't need fancy things. I'm not that type of person.

I guess its hard to understand me. I've been told that I'm frustrating. Well, its because I am a go with the flow person. I'm Random. I've been told to rid myself of being stubborn, that will never happen.

Then I look back at what complete strangers have told me. That I have a sweet spirit. A beautiful smile that I should never lose.

I've been told that I have too much of a good heart and it will get me in trouble one of these days. Heck, I have no regrets.

I ask myself everyday, Why do I have the type of personality that I have. A smile is always on my face. I try to hide my worries and feelings. Its the most impossible action ever.

I basically live on risks and whims. And so far have yet to be steered wrong.

No I am pretty much just rambling. So I guess thats it for now.

Until We Meet Again...

A Vision of Things Yet to Come...

This weather is going to drive me crazy I think. Its snowing again. Don't get me wrong I love snow. Its just I am so ready for it to be Spring.

So I've decided to attempt to make b-day plans a little early. My b-day seems to always fall on days I work, and then I go to work the next day too.

I've been listening to a lot of music lately. A lot of the same songs because I haven't heard them in a really long time.

So I finally got my ring back. I felt so lost without it. I thought I had lost it forever.

I am counting the days down til I am back to work.

This year is going to be a promising one...I hope anyway. LOL...

Valentines day is on Sunday...not to excited about that...for many reasons...

Not much else to say...

Giggles and the Hilton....

Things are so hectic its crazy...

Trying to plan my friends wedding. Trying to find my new place to live. Counting the days down til I am back to Work Completely. Helping my friend move into her new place. Attempting to go back to school. I just stick it all into a blender....And let it mix...

I'm starting to become my own worst enemy. If that's even possible.

My phone broke for like the 50th million time. I just keep dropping it. I can't wait for a new phone. The other day was the first time the battery fell out of it though. lol...The phone is at least usuable.

So I went inside of the Hilton the other night. To visit a friend. Before I even go through the doors, this guy is walking in front of me and just starts talking to me. And starts talking about ice falling on his truck from their roof. He is telling me to watch my head. It made me giggle for some reason. And I get on the elevator, and the elevator starts talking. Now don't get me wrong, the Hilton is nice. But my favorite thing about the Hilton was the elevator, As I am leaving the Hilton. And walking back to my car, This guy comes out the door, at the same time as I do. Well he was walking behind me, and starts talking to me. He goes don't worry I'm not following you. And starts talking about how he has to go and fill up the gas tank. Just in case the weather decides to get bad. So that made me giggle some more. Then When I got to the parking garage, it took me forever to find my car. I forgot which level I parked on. I felt so stupid...

Then I decided I was thirsty. Well, I had already passed a few gas stations that I knew were open 24 hours. So I turned around and went back to a gas station. Well I've been to this one a few times. So the person in there, kind of knows me. I decided to get a 44 oz Blue Raspberry Jolly Rancher Freeze drink. Not the greatest idea but it was still yummy.

Branson makes me giggle... I have so many weird adventures here.

This year has just been one heck of an adventure. From Springfield to Branson.

It makes me giggle.