On A Night Like This....

So I made this goal, by August first it would be done. Goal was not completed. So I guess I will have to push the goal back to a further date. I made myself a goal that I would get to wear a dress that's been hanging up in my closet since freakin April. It is the most classy looking dress ever. I hope to wear it by the end of this year. I will probably end up being so mad at myself, if I don't get to wear it.

I have also been fidgeting around with my little black box. It seems that when ever I sit down next to it my hands seem to cling to it. I always catch myself turning it over and over in my hands, then I always open the thing. The necklace is gorgeous and I want to wear it so badly. one of these days, maybe this coming week on my days off, I will just break down and wear it. I was told that I could wear the pearl @ work, but its too gorgeous to wear and have something happen to it.

YAY!! July is finally over. Its about time. Pretty soon we will be back to five days. I can't wait.

I can't wait Til Monday!! I get to see two very important people. Its going to be sweet.

Before I ramble on more... I think I will end it here.

Until We Meet Again....

Yep...I think I'm Cursed...

These qualities of ups and downs that seem to occur a lot lately, are starting to worry me. I truly do think that I am cursed. I am starting to get tired of being surrounded in all the BS lately. I guess once again Life's a Bitch and its kicking my ass once again. WTF!! I need something to change fast, I'm tired of running in circles where all is relative and not fitting in place as it should. Its a curse....I just know it.

Realm of Me...

Realm of Me

Pride comes so easy for some
Its just a matter of time
Power or none
Living, dying, trying to be
Somebody they all can see
Life is my rhyme
Death is my rhythm
Pride is my lyric
Its me, its nobody else
I’m stuck in a realm of me
There is no where else I can go
I just have to wait for the right flow
Turning to the light of time
Turning to the darkness of rhyme
All I have to do is cross over the line.
.............................................

So I have figured out that I would never want to change me in a heartbeat.

Yeah I am shy and quiet, but that's only @ first. but as soon as I am comfortable then I am more outgoing, and sometimes it depends on the type of person that I am around. I have noticed that different people bring out different things in me.

A part of me is starting to love Missouri more and more each day. I know that I will never forget where I come from. And its only an 8 hour drive back to that good old highway 67. But Missouri is home, at least for right now. Who knows what the future could bring.

I'm always ready to try new things. And I know that my heart will always be in many places. I gave my heart to my friends and to my family and others that I really care about.

I have no regrets and life's a dance and anything can happen. Why Regret?

I have taken a lot of chances in my life, and some have turned out good and others have been bad. But I keep going with a smile on my face and a welcoming hand. I take the bad stuff right along side the good. Because that's who I am. I don't judge others, I judge myself more than anything.

So I love music without any hesitation @ all. I have no true preference. I listen to everything. If there was no music @ all, life would be dull. My favorite instruments. are guitars, saxophones and fiddles. Especially a certain Scottish Fiddler I know. I am a writer, and the thought of being published is very enticing. And I could care less whether anyone liked it or not.

I love flip-flops, I don't really care to wear shoes and socks. I'd rather not.

Of all things that I absolutely hate, is saying good-bye. I cannot stand the words.

Traveling is my biggest passion in life. If I couldn't travel, I don't know what I would do.

I enjoy Czech Coffee, and salsa dancing, even though I am not very good @ it.

I like to work hard, play hard and have a good laugh once in a while. I like to make people smile and be happy. But that's just me.

When I Close My Eyes....

So lately I have been thinking about me as a person. I'll tell you one thing, its hard to figure that out.

I am:


Honest

caring

Shy @ first

Stubborn

Open-minded

Easy to get along with

Adventurous

Laid-back

Very Generous

Good Heart

Understanding

Down To Earth

Hard-worker

Indecisive @ times

Goofy

Dreamer

Weird

Devotional to Others

Goal Oriented

Determined

Clumsy



That's some of it.

And it goes a little something like this....

The strangest phrase in my vocabulary this week has been "officially unofficial." Whatever the heck that means. I am ready to take it out of my vocabulary.

So yesterday, my thoughts were pondering over and over the same thoughts. But earlier this morning, I realized why. So now nothing is confusing anymore. And I am going to go with the flow, and just clear it all out. I am going to be on my perch and wait.

So my friends have made their point on certain aspects that are going on in my life at the moment.

I was surprised not to be called into work today. I was just waiting for it to happen.

So I keep telling myself, that a chance will be taken. And I really hope that it does. I would rather have a chance be taken, then what it supposedly is right now.

A good start is a slow pace.

That's What She Said......

It rained today. It was perfect weather. We were somewhat busy, and somewhat not. It just ended up being a really long day. Get to do it all over again tomorrow.

I got the sweetest gift today. It was really sweet. I was given a pearl, I can't wait to wear it, its a sort of bluish color too.

Lately I have been all about kids. This guy brought his little girl up to the counter with him. She was absolutely adorable. She was only 10 months old.

Instead of Procrastination this week there has actually been some Productivity.

I'm excited, about how things are going at the moment.

I can't believe I missed the Bix.

Still counting the days down until my vacation. Its going to be fun.

Well that's all I have for now.

Until next time.

And the beat goes on...

Lately it feels like I have butterflies in my stomach. Its a good thing. Where my happiness is at right now, is where I want it to stay. I have been ecstatic about a few things. Which a part of me is nervous and the other part isn't at all. And lately I've been putting 100% into just about everything I do. There's a lot for me to consider but I'm taking it all in strides.

This lady let me hold her daughter today. Her daughter was 18 months. She was so cute. I had her laughing and smiling. We had a lot of fun. I didn't want to put her down. She was wearing this adorable outfit too. They even took a picture of me holding her. I guess its a good thing since my job is to create memories worth repeating.

Such gorgeous weather. I love it.

Its been a long summer and I can't wait for it to be over, I want it to be fall already.

I love getting packages in the mail. Especially homemade cookies from my dad. Got a couple of new movies which is always good. Got a pretty sweet b-day present from my brother.

Yeah, I think that's all I got for now...

We'll get there fast; And then we'll take it slow.....

So I have just a minor bump on my head from last night. I ended up going to see a friend this morning and that's what they told me. She used to be a nurse, so it saved me from having to make a dreadful hospital trip. You all know what I'm like, unless I am absolutely really bad or dying, I don't check myself into one. Or if well, like I told my friend this morning, if I was going into labor then I will check myself into one. I'll visit whom ever is in one, but that's about it. I'll go into them, but I'm always nervous as hell.

So yeah, I tried to help some friends last night, and I'm the one that get's hurt.

It has been absolutely gorgeous weather the last couple of days. I love it.

I can't wait for fall to get here. Of course it is my favorite season.

I still can't believe that I am 23. This lady the other day while I was at Wal-mart, kept following me down a few aisles, and she was like how old are you. I told her, and she goes you don't even look it. I told her, yeah I get that all the time. Even at work I get that.

So my friend and I were talking the other night, and she was like I just want one more kid. So then we were both saying how funny it would be, if she ended up having twins instead of just one. Well then she was like, actually you would have a better chance of having twins than me. At least they would have a pal to play with. :) And of course my mom always plays with all the babies when she sees one, even a complete strangers.

I love my friend's two little boys. I spoil them, they make me laugh, I would do anything for them. I even have changed diapers. I still can't believe how big they are getting. When I met Orion, he was 3 and now he is 5 and going into Kindergarten. Jordan was pretty much a baby still, he is 1 now, going to be 2 soon. Its like wow I still can't believe it.

I still can't believe how long I have been living down here. Sometimes it just doesn't seem like very long.

But soon I will be heading to the QC Area, for my vacation. I can't wait.

Well that's all I got for now.

Two by Two.....

Today was a decent day off. I hope tomorrow is an even better one.

I didn't do too much. Just a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

I'm counting my days down til my vacation.

So I have chosen this new path to be on in my life. I'm excited to see where it could lead.

Work might have me a bit more burned out than last year, but hopefully I'll be rid of that feeling soon.

But yeah, things are going great and I hope they keep going great.

Just strike the match already......

Things are great @ the moment.

The rain came and it was an even better day. I got drenched on my lunch break. But overall it was a good day @ work.

So here I go again, trying to figure things out.

I want a puppy or a kitty,

I've been playing and loving up a pitbull puppy in the last like two weeks.

I'm ready for the match to be struck.

Tonight I just feel like hanging out. been listening to music since I got home. Tonight once again, I wish I was anywhere but here, but oh well.

I have the next two days off, and have no clue what I want to do.

I've noticed lately that I bite my lip more. Its weird.

Anywho, I am just rambling on now, so I think this is it for tonight.

You Can't Always Get What You Want......

As I was driving out to my friend's house, one of my favorite songs came on. It was great. So I just want to share it with you.



Had a pretty good b-day.

Was glad to have a good turn-out @ work. I'd rather be busy than be bored.

It kind of felt weird being single to celebrate my b-day, but then I was like no I think it will be alright.

I had some kick-ass friends to help celebrate it with me.

So it turned out to be a pretty sweet day yesterday.

I'm not looking forward to going to work in a few hours but oh well, that's life.

And I have a lot to think about in the next week or so. Which might turn out to be the best thing for me. So I am happy about that.

The place to be this week is Springfield......

Yay!! 1 more day and I will be 23. I'm excited.

I am kind of wishing that I didn't have to go to work today. I seem really tired for some reason. Oh well...

I'm confused about a few things this morning and last night, but I'm not going to let it get me down. I'm tired of feeling struck down by whats going on in my head.

Oh yeah, I absolutely love my new bed. It was the perfect early b-day present.

I'm thinking either tonight or tomorrow the place to be is Springfield. But I can't set that in stone yet. I'm hoping more tonight than tomorrow. Since I already got plans tomorrow. Which I hope that they go the way they are supposed to.

Well I have to start getting ready for work now....

That's my story and I'm sticking to it....

I've been side-tracked, but overall I look at it as being a good thing.

So far I like what I see and I know and am prepared for what I want.

I'm on a curiosity path.

My b-day is in two days!! YAY!! Its going to be sweet.

I am absolutely loving life right now, and its great.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it......

Creating Memories Worth Repeating......

Today was a sweet day off.

Got to hang out with my best friend, haven't done that in a while.

Went and had some drinks @ Tequilas, had some delicious nachos. Met an Awesome lady, while we were there.

We went on a country road trip. Which was fun as usual.

Got to see my two favorite little boys.

Been texting all day with a pretty awesome person.

Its been an all around great day.

Wish I didn't have to work tomorrow.

My b-day is in 3 days. Sweet!!

Its going to be awesome. I can't wait.

So far, so good....

Oh what a week it has been already. Sunday turned out to be a pretty sweet day off. Monday morning, before work was excellent. My day off today has been an interesting one. Could get a little bit more interesting later.

My new bed came today. I love it. Its a sweet early birthday present.

I've been texting like crazy today. I never text this much.

Uhm...I rearranged pretty much my entire home.

My b-day is in 4 days. Awesome.

Its my day off again tomorrow.

Guess that's all I got for now.

Because I Said So.....

So I am excited to actually have a Sunday off. It has been a great week. And I actually have plans made for my day off too. Which actually came out of the blue earlier. So that's pretty sweet.

I'm excited my new bed comes on Tuesday. Its a pretty good birthday present, I must say so myself.

My B-day is in 6 days. I can't believe it. I'm excited.

I still can't believe that my brother and I will be 23. Its just crazy..

My vacation is set and I am excited for that.

Things are actually going pretty good lately.

I still wish a few things were going in a different direction, but oh well, nothing is impossible.

I think that's all I got for now....

My kind of rain.....

So I have been in this funky mood all day long. I think its a good thing, but then again I could be wrong. I had an excellent day @ work. I was smiling and laughing all day. So that's a plus.

I wish that I was at a point to understand me. I'm tired of being judged before even getting to know me. I'm at a standstill, because I am looking for answers that are not even there. It gets discouraging.

Sometimes I just wish things were different.

I just want simple and less complicated....

My b-day is in 9 days. YAY!! I'm excited.

Everything feels different this year. Maybe I'm just weird.

I went up in a helicopter this week already. It was actually pretty cool.

I'm ready for a vacation. And I know exactly where I'm going too.

You know the way I see it, is that I have a smile on my face and that's what matters the most.

Man I don't know, where the time goes...

Went swimming Monday night under the moonlight. It was an absolutely gorgeous moon too. And the lake water was perfect.

I can't believe that in 10 days, I will be turning 23.

This year has gone by so fast. Although, the last month or so, there were times that, it felt like everything was going too slow. But now it seems to be back on a fast pace.

August 1st will be here in no time. Which means that Christmas lights will be going up soon.

Finally got a day off. Not sure if I like having split days this week. But oh well. Its only one week.

Its a beautiful and perfect day.

I'm so glad that my sunburn is finally healing.

I played miniature golf the other day, I was excited, I got two hole in ones. That never happens, but it was my goal to at least get one.

That's all I got for right now...

Suited perfectly, for eternity.....

I'm ready for change this week. I am willing to take chances and give chances.

I need something but I haven't put my finger on to exactly what that is....

The rapid thought process of certain possible occurrences fills the air with excitement.

There's a bunch of people that I miss right now, one in particular that I miss the most.

13 more days left until my b-day.

Not sure what else to write.........So I guess this is it for now...

Its like a flame, burns you when its hot....

I just want to lie down and cry. I have a really bad sunburn and it hurts so bad. And I have to go to work tomorrow, and its not going to be fun.

17 more days left, YAY!!

I went all over the place today. Went to Branson, Nixa. Ozark and then all the way back to Branson. It was a long day today. I wish that I had just one more day off.

I have been out on my deck tonight looking at the moon and stars. I can never stop looking at them.